Substitutions for the Needy and Hopeless
by shipallthecharacters
Summary: And it was a dangerous game he was playing, and he knew it. But the aching of wanting some sort of comfort was something he couldn't handle anymore.


**A/N: Hey there! Trigger warning if you're sensitive to things such as self mutilation and such. I tend to write quickly so if there are any grammar mistakes please feel free to point them out.**

"Lie to me  
It takes less time  
To drink you pretty"

- Drink you pretty, Placebo

It wasn't necessarily love as much as it was wanting. A wanting or longing that he wanted to be filled because he was deprived of love. But his demon was cold and cruel, although in some ways similar. But those were minuet. Claude tended to close off the world and ignore everything so carelessly and selfishly. It hurt worst because the blonde knew his demon didn't return affection to him. He knew that it was hopeless but he still tried. Now here he sat, on the edge of his bed, humming to himself so his mind wouldn't wander. Watching Claude go about his tasks. He had stolen a piece if broken glass from the kitchen in hopes to get the demon to pay attention to him. He nervously held it in his palm, opening his mouth before closing it again. He took a breath and with as much confidence as he could muster spoke, a small smile on his lips.

"Claude, look here," he breathed out lightly, almost delicately in hopes his demon would catch his odd tone. His stomach did a nervous twitch as he turned and the blonde was lost in the fearful beauty that the demon had. Frightening and all sharp angles. No soft lovable things. That was human.

"Yes,Your highness?" He asked as flatly as ever, eyes bored. Oh, how he wanted those eyes to look at him with affection. Shaking off his nerves he lightly played with the glass, feeling the smooth surface.

"Do you see this, Claude?" He asked innocently raising a brow and holding it out for inspection.

"I got this from the kitchen. Do you know what I'm going to do with it?" Alois' heart and stomach twitched and churned almost painfully slow as he waited.

"No," the blonde smirked lightly, replying with,

"No, what Claude?" A small flash of annoyance danced across the demon's face, almost fast enough that it was hard to see.

"No, your highness," Alois pouted and knitted his brows. Honestly Claude was acting dense. He slowly rolled up his sleeve,running it across his palm to test the a moments hesitation he lightly ran it across his forearm, biting his tongue at the sting. He slowly stood, taking note of the small quizzical look from his demon. He must've looked like a mess. He was haphazardly dressed, one side of his shirt untucked carelessly and his vest tossed on the floor. He walked as close to his demon as he dared, close enough that he could see the detail of his coat. Alois swallowed a bit nervously. He wanted this, didn't he? He looked up with a small coy grin.

"Claude," the instant it left his lips his demon looked at him, arching a brow curiously. Alois motioned for him to lean down and he did so, an almost non existent sigh escaping his lips. Yes, Alois wanted this. Even as his mind screamed me told him he was am idiot. He didn't want Claude to leave him. He'd have nothing left except for an empty manor filled with monsters. He giggled, nerves getting to him as he brushed his fingers on his cut and traced the demon's lips. In the split second that his eyes changed, Alois knew he had him.

"Tch, isn't it sad that you don't get to even taste my blood when you take my soul?" He asked with a slight raise of his brows. Quickly, almost on instinct he made another cut, this time deeper and he bit his tongue as not shy away. The game he was playing had a thin line and he was walking on it carefully. Alois smirked and brought his wrist to his mouth, admiring how red the blood looked on his pale skin as he sucked on it to stop the sting. After a moment he grinned darkly.

"Don't you want another taste?" He asked childishly brushing lips with his demon. Alois' stomach did a nervous twitch. Was that what affections gave him? A stomach that couldn't stop moving? No, he was thinking about the other time. lightly bit down on Claude's lip, adrenaline pumping through his body. He wanted this.

"Open your mouth now, Claude," he hissed irritably, biting down harder on his lip playfully. Alois almost laughed when he did. What a loyal dog. He'd worked a spot on his bottom lip until he was swallowing his own blood and snaked his tongue I to his demon's mouth greedily. He could feel Claude shudder and grinned inwardly. This was a good substitute for love, he thought as he let out a small moan and leaned into him. Cold hands and glass were good substitutes. Bitemarks and scabbed lips. It felt good almost. If he ignored the sting of the cuts and the coldness of blood drying it felt good. Only sound soft moans escaping his lips. And then it was more aggressive. Alois didn't mind as long as he was getting the attention he wanted and so desperately needed. The nerves soon easing away but only a bit. Claude was a demon after all. Alois could die at any second and he hadn't thought that out. Cold hands were ordered to take off his shirt and he smirked. He was going to push his demon to his limits. Another bruising kiss and more blood shed and then he was shaking.

No. This wasn't right. Alois let out a small whimper as he felt a greedy kiss on his collarbone that soon turned into a bite. No. This wasn't okay anymore. These hands were greedy and wanting. And cold. The blonde was shaking now. Too soon. He quickly scolded himself and let out a small needed to stop being so childish. This is what he wanted. Right? Alois let out another small whimper when Claude had ran his tongue over the boy's wounds on his wrist. It hurt like hellfire. No, he didn't want this anymore it was scary. Alois was scared. And he internally hated himself for that. What a childish thing. Fear. Because his demon was showing his true nature and it was dark. With as much of a commanding voice he could manage Alois out on a glare.

"Claude," he hissed out. "Stop now," hands still roamed and nails racked across his skin still as his breath hitched, choking on a small whimper. This game wasn't fun anymore. This wasn't even a damned game anymore. This was real and frightening. This was what it was like to tease a demon and think you could win.

"Claude, stop now," he said again, this time with more worry in his voice. Was he underwater? Was it that hard to hear or was that the frantic palpitations if his heart that made his voice sound so far away? Fearfully Alois pushed his demon away. "I said stop now!" His voice broke a bit and for a moment he was a child again. A frightened child that had gone too far into the water and was drowning. He bit back tears and glared. He was going to push his demon to his limits. Another bruising kiss and more blood shed and then he was shaking. No. This wasn't right. Alois let out a small whimper as he felt a greedy kiss on his collarbone that soon turned into a bite. No. This wasn't okay anymore. These hands were greedy and wanting. And cold. The blonde was shaking now. Too soon. He quickly scolded himself and let out a small moan. He needed to stop being so childish. This is what he wanted. Right? Alois let out another small whimper when Claude had ran his tongue over the boy's wounds on his hurt like hellfire. No, he didn't want this anymore it was scary. Alois was scared. And he internally hated himself for that. What a childish thing. Fear. Because his demon was showing his true nature and it was dark. With as much of a commanding voice he could manage Alois out on a glare.

"Claude," he hissed out. "Stop," hands still roamed and nails raked across his skin still as his breath hitched, choking on a small whimper. This game wasn't fun anymore. This wasn't even a damned game anymore. This was real and frightening. This was what it was like to tease a demon and think you could win.

"Claude, stop this instant," he said again, this time with more worry in his voice. Was he underwater? Was it that hard to hear or was he not even talking? The blonde pushed him away harshly, a few shaky tears running down his cheeks.

"I said stop now!" He yelled hoarsely, sitting it up and biting his lip. And the two parted ways, he demon regaining his cold composure and leaving the blonde to his own devices. Alois stood shakily and looked in the mirror. Cuts ran up his arms and decorated his legs like small little cat scratches, bruises decorating his body. Alois glared at himself in the mirror. Was all this worth it for false affection? He wondered to himself, tracing a certain deep cut and wincing. He thought for a moment and quickly nodded. It was better than not having any affection at all. It was worth being scared and frightened. And he'd do it again, Alois knew he would.


End file.
